Christmas: It's the most intense time of the year

They call it the most wonderful time of the year.And sometimes, that’s true.

There are moments of warmth, connection, and genuine joy woven through the season. But for many of us, Christmas is also the most intense and emotionally heightened time of the year.

There is something about Christmas that shines a light on where we are — in our relationships, in our energy, in ourselves. It brings everything closer to the surface. Joy feels bigger. Loneliness feels sharper. Exhaustion runs deeper.

Christmas asks us to accelerate. To shift into fifth gear.

We’re invited — quietly and loudly — to create an experience that feels special. Magical. Meaningful. One that lives up to an image of perfection that surrounds us everywhere we turn. And often, we’re not just trying to create this for others, but for ourselves too. As if this year, if we get it right, something will finally feel whole.

But of course, perfection is impossible.

And when we inevitably fall short of it, whatever we’re already carrying gets amplified. Stress, sadness, resentment, longing — it all arrives at once, like a flood coming in from every direction.

The Weight Many Women Carry at Christmas

For women especially, Christmas can feel heavy.

Daughters caring for ageing parents.Mothers juggling the demands of children’s packed schedules.Partners holding the emotional tone of gatherings.

There is often an unspoken expectation to organise, remember, anticipate, soothe, host, and hold. To be capable. To be warm. To be grateful. To make it look effortless.

The call to be a domestic goddess grows louder at this time of year, echoing through traditions, adverts, family dynamics, and internalised roles. And layered on top of all that is the expectation to enjoy it. To have fun. To make wonderful memories. It’s alot to hold.

And beneath the practical demands of Christmas, something more tender often stirs. Old childhood needs. Longings for closeness, safety, being seen or chosen. Hopes that this year might feel different — softer, kinder, more connected.

When those needs aren’t met, or when the season highlights old absences and disappointments, the emotional cost can be enormous.

It’s no wonder that Christmas can leave us feeling like we’ve run the longest marathon in the space of a couple of days.

When Doing Something Different Feels Too Hard

By the time we reach mid-December, many of us are already depleted.

We might know, intellectually, that we could do things differently. Say no more. Lower expectations. Ask for help. But knowing and doing are not the same.

Sometimes, the system we’re living inside — family expectations, responsibilities, financial pressures, emotional roles — makes change feel impossible. Sometimes we simply don’t have the energy to challenge what’s familiar.

And that’s important to name.

Not every season is the right season for transformation.Sometimes, survival and gentleness are enough.

An Invitation to Listen Inwards

So this isn’t a call to overhaul your Christmas.

It’s an invitation to something much quieter.

To listen — to yourself.

To notice how you’re actually feeling, rather than how you think you should feel. To pay attention to the moments when your body tightens, when resentment flickers, when exhaustion washes over you.

And if you can, to look for small spaces — even brief ones — where you can pull back from the relentlessness of the season.

That might look like:

• Stepping outside for a few minutes of quiet

• Letting one thing be “good enough” instead of perfect

• Allowing yourself to rest without explaining why

• Naming, even silently, this is a lot for me

• Choosing yourself at least once

These moments don’t fix everything.But they create a little room to breathe.

Maybe this Christmas isn’t about doing more for everyone else.Maybe it’s about noticing when it’s already too much.

Allowing yourself to rest without explaining why.Naming, even silently, this is a lot for me.Not pushing past that feeling or trying to make it smaller.

These moments might seem insignificant, but they matter.They are small acts of self-attunement in a season that so often asks us to abandon ourselves.

Holding Yourself Through the Season

If Christmas is hard for you, it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.If you feel overwhelmed, it doesn’t mean you’re failing.If you’re tired before it even begins, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

It means you’re human — living in a season that asks a great deal.

This year, alongside everything you’re giving to others, see if you can offer yourself a little care too. Not perfectly. Not consistently. Just honestly.

Even small acts of self-attunement matter.

They remind you that you’re not just here to make Christmas work —you’re here too.